How to Self-Improve, From Someone Who Hated Life

I hated my life and this is how I finally began to improve my life!

We must become the change we want to see.
Mahatma Gandhi

In S1E3 of the Rosabeth Mooon Motivation Podcast, we talked about how in high school I was the goth girl that no one messed with.
But why?
In 2016, my mommaw had passed away and I had lost my purpose in life. I was a sophmore in High School at the time.
I had lost my biggest support, my favorite person, and the only one keeping me in check.

This translated into high school that we talked about in episode 3, because since I hated life, I didn’t care the repurcussions for standing up for people.
Very much so, I had a bully the bully mentality, and I would. It fuels a fire in me when I see someone getting bulled, and I always stood up for them.
I always would do things to make me feel something because the only feeling I felt, was hatred.

When you’re a teenager, and you’ve experienced trauma from childhood, then the one thing that kept you sane left, the only feeling that would come up was hatred.
I hated my mom, she tried her best.
I hated my friends, because they talked about me behind my back. (Not true friends BTW)
I hated my relationship because being with them, reminded me of the anger I felt as a kid.

I got diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and PTSD.
The result?
I decided I didn’t want to feel this hatred for life anymore.
Was this all that life had to offer? Hatred? Sadness? Disorders? Anxiety? PTSD Triggers?
I was sick of a wasted, hating life.

Sick of a wasted life.
Fire From The Gods, 8 Billion Rats

In S1E15, Why Self-Help is Important To Do Your Way, we talked about how when you self-improve, it’s important to do it your way.

This idea applies here, in a new way of thinking.
When I finally decided that I wanted to improve my life, I started doing every self-help technique I could find.
I watched all of the self-help gurus online, read all of the self-help books, I did acupuncture, zero-balancing, reiki, and so much more all to realize one thing.

I realized that what one self-help person would swear by, contradicted the other self-help person I was also seeing.
I soon found that trying to help myself improve, had to be decided by me, and me alone.
Same goes for you, to self-improve you have to do what works for you; not anyone else.

Accupuncture- helped me ground my dissassociated energy into my body, healed my asthma, and helped me tremendously.
Journaling- neuroscientists found that handwriting establishes connections between areas of the brain. ¹ Simply put, when you write about what you want to improve, the brain connects to areas that forumate ways to improve. One of my favorites.
Mobility Exercises- Working out eases symptoms of depression and anxiety. ² I had a lot trauma around exercises and I found mobility to be the best to not trigger me much.
Finding my passion- Focusing on what you enjoy versus what you dislike is a guaranteed way to lessen the feeling of hatred and improve.
Set Boundaries- No one is allowed to treat me poorly in my life. While, you’ll never be able to tell me worse things, than I’ve said to myself, if you disrespect me, you’re out.

Try some of them out! Let me know in the comments which one’s work best for you! I’m curious if you’re into practices I am or if there’s a different one that suits your life better. 🙂

Do you want more of our self-help resources? Find more above in the search of Rosabethmooon.com 🙂

How Writing Changes Your Brain. Medium, 2021, https://doi.org/https://medium.com/the-brave-writer/how-writing-changes-your-brain-75c9087f37e7#:~:text=These%20neuroscientists%2C%20therefore%2C%20explain%20that,more%20extensive%20connections%20between%20them. ↩︎
Depression and Anxiety: Exercise Eases Symptoms. Mayo Clinic, 2023, https://doi.org/https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495#:~:text=The%20links%20between%20depression%2C%20anxiety,once%20you’re%20feeling%20better. ↩︎